Dreams

Good Morning and Happy Sunday! The sun is shining through the trees highlighting the grass that is a happier, brighter shade of green from the gift of rain it received. The storm on Friday was absolutely wonderful and broke the overwhelming heat that was here early in the week. The last few nights have been cooler which always makes sleep better. Instead of allowing me to keep that wonderful sleep my brain decided to throw me a bad dream that has me knocked off my rails this morning.

What did we do this week? Serra started out rocky with not wanting to stay home on Monday. Her body had other ideas and still needed to work out the cold that attacked over the weekend. Classes are good but slow so far. That is normally the case at the beginning of the semester so I am trying to hope that it will get better. A surprise so far is how much she is enjoying her Modern Literature English. They get to read Frankenstein soon which I think she will like. We also saw The Last Voyage of the Demeter before it left the theatres. Some of the character arcs were really good to watch the actors in however I think I was wanting more from the film.

Work was a bit quiet this week and I am still dealing with some shifts from a couple of weeks ago. My list of duties has changed continually over the two years that I have been there, and the list keeps growing. I have some grammar books to read and programs that I am going to start learning to up my value. This week is a two-day photo shoot, two days of meetings and we need to find some space in there to get an issue to the proofreader on Friday. 

Crafts saw time knitting and spinning. I am working on a re-knit of a previous pattern for work that is part of the new venture, Farm and Fiber Knits. I suppose I should say plying instead of spinning. I completed a chain ply that I am very happy with, made an art yarn that will be on the Spin Off website next month, and cleared five spindles of camel/silk. Everyone will get a bath this week, so there will be lots of pictures next Sunday.

As for me, well I thought it was a decent week until the dream this morning. Amazing how a brain defrag can complete wreck you. In its way, this bubbling up from my subconscious is a good thing. Past issues stay there until you are ready and strong enough to deal with them. I should know, I've done this before. All of my talk of wanting more really has nothing to do with wanting more, rather it comes from wanting to be enough. This dream bubbled so much from the past where I wasn't enough for someone else. You would think that once you say to the world "I am enough, and I am doing all the things" that the battle would be over. No, it is a constant, daily practice of rebuilding my own expectations of what is enough instead of continuing to let the past keep its hold. 

Next week! Classes begin for Amanda, hopefully Serra will not be bored in AP Bio and will get the requested letters of rec from her teachers and counselor. Two-day shoot, crafts to play with, and making myself relax are on my agenda. Breathe, rest, hydrate, sift the wheat from the chaff, Love, be. Take care of YOU and I'll be back next week :)