Good morning! Girls are sleeping in and I'm sitting here at my dining table with an ugly bruised knee enjoying some tunes from my Ipod. I needed to take my own advice last week on staying positive and believing in myself, it was difficult to do.
I have a hard time reminding myself that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be doing exactly what I'm meant to do. This week it was hard to remember that. Time is only a unit of measure and regardless of how I think about it time is going to do what it wants, either speed by like Tony Stewart used to do on the NASCAR circuit or drip ever so slowly like a melting icicle. For me, perception of time is a constant battle. I want people to understand the time that goes into making something by hand. The effort, care and uniqueness that each piece has. Yet I also get on myself for the lack of speed in business and getting the ball rolling. Really at this point I just want to feel that something I'm doing is working. Trouble is I can't push the Universe. Patience is a constant practice and one that I had a very hard time with this week.
So, when your soul feels raw with the world what do you do to soothe it? How do you fill in and fix the pieces that feel broken as the Japanese do through Kintsugi? Again in warped (pun intended) fashion I turn to craft. Max is my 16-shaft hand operated table loom and is currently threaded with red and black 60/2 silk which according to my craft friends insanely tiny. Each pattern repeat takes 30 passes of the shuttle and nets approximately one inch of woven fabric. I wove 4 inches in one hour Friday night and it was a balm to the rough edges inside. Quite the two sided coin, anxiety about my artform making a business and yet also taking solace in doing it.
So, how am I going to practice patience and continue the painstakingly tiny steps on this path this week? Tapestry work, yarn dyeing, a bit of self care and celebrating a 13 year old's birthday. Keep creating and know that everything you do has value even if it's only to yourself :)